One of the best concepts I have ever come across I read in a book called “LOVE and RESPECT” by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. All my marriage I was trying to figure out what to call my need to get my wife when I say, “Honey come watch this”, to just come and look and not start a conversation. The concept is called Shoulder to Shoulder. It stems from the belief that men and women have different needs (imagine that). Women while I do understand your need to get what you need to say off your chest by downloading on your men, we are not talking about that now. We are talking about the need every man has to just have someone near him. Eve was not an accident but a gift to Adam.
We are talking about something that could change your relationship in a matter of days that you can do. When he is doing something that he enjoys doing or has to do, just sit there with him while he does it and say nothing. I know it sounds difficult and you are even now saying it will not work, but it will. Even when men sit with each other we do not have the deep feeling provoked conversations women and girls do. We are wired completely different. But we do enjoy just being in the company of others. Who better to do that with than the women in our lives (IF they will just sit there and say nothing). I will not get into the specifics as to the psychology of it all, because I am not a psychologist. I just know it works. These have been some of the best times I have ever spent with my wife.
Read: Are You A Good Listener?
Ladies I am issuing you a challenge. Try Shoulder to Shoulder with a man in your life and tell me how it worked out for you. Eliminate your need to talk for at least one day and see the results. Resist the need to make the time about you even though you are hoping for it to benefit you. If he is watching a game and you do not understand what is going on, it is ok, it’s about being there for him in the way he needs you. If he is washing the car, working on the car, mowing the grass, watching an action movie or reading a book, just sit there with him (not annoyingly looking over his shoulder). He may even ask you what you are doing. Answer him by saying “I just wanted to sit with you” or ”I just wanted to watch you” and leave it at that. You will see a renewed spirit in this man you have never seen before. He will even open up and respond to you the way you need him (it is still not about you this time so resist your urge to take over). Ladies, this will work for your sons too. If you mess it up and start going over board (talking too much), apologize and get back in there (quietly). Try something new and watch SHOULDER to SHOULDER work for you. Try Saying Nothing To Him. If you say it didn’t work for you I am sorry. I AM JUST TRYING TO HELP!!!
Written By Napoleon For Elev8.com