There is nothing easy when it comes to divorce and often a teenage child of divorcing parents feels some responsibility. As parents are going through the divorce the teen is often confused and is feeling a pain that is not shown to either parent.
Proper Way to Divorce-
If you are getting a divorce from your partner the first thing you need to do when it has been decided that a divorce is imminent, is to discuss with your partner your children’s feelings. Talk about the best way to handle it and make a pact not to involve your children in custody disputes, arguments, or use them as pawns.
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Talk to your teen and your children about why you are getting a divorce but also explain how much you have loved their mommy or daddy and still do but not in the way marriage should be. Even then they will be sad but they need to know that it is not their fault.
Never argue in front of the kids –
Arguing in front of them or where they can hear is like giving them a severe mental beating and will cause them much strain and pain. Even the best of divorcing parents will slip every now and then, but cutting back on exposing your kids to the hate and anger a divorce can bring will allow them not to suffer as deeply or longer.
Good Divorce –
Some people will tell you there is no such thing as a good divorce but I beg to differ. When a couple has reached a point that is negative on each other or the children then if divorcing brings relief, in my opinion that is a good divorce.
Also a good divorce is one when both parents talk matters out and keep communication wide open. Both parents need to stay highly involved in the children’s life and each others. Let the children know that divorce is not necessarily a bad or ugly thing by improving the quality of their lives. Increase the amount of time you spend with your kids and talk to them each day about “their day”. Show them a love they have not felt in a long time and keep them busy.
Live Close to your Ex –
Stress from travel can make the relationship between ex’s increase especially when one of the parents has to do all the traveling. From the cost of fuel to trying to meet drop off deadlines a parent can be pushed into an anxiety or some form of anger. As parents you must sacrifice for the good of the children and not for the “good of you”. It is a long road to a normal life but it can be less bumpy if you work together to achieve the quality of life your teen or children deserve.
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Learn the signs of stress your teen may go through. Pay particular attention to their behavior or lack of behavior. A stressed teen can suffer depression or even a slew of anxieties and anger. Mental suffering by far can be more extreme than physical pain. It’s hard enough to be a teenager with all the social implications and going through puberty and then to add divorce on top of it can push a kid over the edge. Please look for the signs and don’t ignore them as your child could be at risk of a breakdown or a condition that will affect their life.
How To Help Your Teen Through Your Divorce was originally published on elev8.com
