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Are you are you a liar?

I used to be a liar. I would lie from the time I woke up in the morning until the time I went to bed at night. I was so good at not telling the truth that I began to believe all the untruths I spoke.

Then one day it occurred to me that the only person I was hurting was myself. I wasn’t lying to other people. I was lying to myself.

I’d tell myself that I was going to take care of my health by working out. A lie. I was going to cut sugar out of my diet. A lie. I’d make excuses about not working out. I devoured brownies, butter pecan ice cream or apple pastries.

I’d tell myself I was going to stop giving other people power over my life by letting them treat me disrespectfully. A lie. I promised myself that I’d stop letting other people not value me as a person. Another lie. I continued to surround myself with the same people who treated me badly because they could see my weakness.

My favorite lie to tell was that I was going to save money. A lie. As soon as temptation kicked in I’d indulge wherever I could spend my money.

I didn’t think I was doing anything wrong until I realized my behavior was no different than when other people lied to me. I detest a liar. When someone doesn’t tell the truth it feels like an assault – that one two-punch combination that hits you right in the gut and makes you double over in pain.

Yet, when I mistreated myself I didn’t have the same reaction. I didn’t detest myself. In fact I told myself how much I loved me. The reality was I wasn’t holding myself accountable for all of the untruth I was feeding myself.

There is something wrong with that. There was something wrong with me.

People treat you the way you allow them to treat you. But what about how we treat ourselves?

I have come to terms with my negative behavior. I try not lie to myself. In the process of adjustment I learned a few things: I need to be honest about what I want to accomplish. I also owe it to myself to set reasonable goals and it’s okay to tell allow myself more time to accomplish them.

What lies do you tell yourself?

Let’s stop lying and start living a life filled with promises we intend to keep.


–Keep it positive and Keep it moving

Lashawnda K. Becoats is a certified Life coach. She is a freelance columnist for the Charlotte Observer and has written for QCity Metro and Uptown Magazine. Email her at Follow her on and Twitter:@coachlashawnda

Read more articles by Coach Lashawnda:

Do You Hate On Beyoncé Because You Hate Yourself?

Keeping It Positive And Keeping It Moving With Coach Lashawnda

Is Your Winter Body Back? A Woman’s Saga Against Wide Hips

It’s Time To Stop Lying  was originally published on